I've tried everything, including the ones your mix together that custom mold to your ears. The disposable soft foam work best, by far. I use the 32 dB and can not hear every time someone comes up to talk about the bike at the gas pump- I have to take my helmet off and one plug out.
I can hear music or the phone system through my Sena, but just enough. I can also hear traffic noise, but wind (the killer) and exhaust (stock) is reduced enough to do all day rides. Next time I may go down a notch on the dB rating.
Install tip- roll them between your fingers and lick them- yeah. Don't try to just cram them in (use your own analogy). That way they slide in all the way and expand for a perfect seal. Change often.
I have the Schuberth C3 PRO helmet, which is rated as one of the most quiet, but I would consider that Sena helmet next time- had not heard of that.