This is the new one.

TOO FUNNY!!!

This "shed" you speak of .. no nudie calendar .. just wondering as somewhere , sometime you've been targeted as .. well .. a dirty old man

Who me nah never Can't imagine why anyone would target me. I do my church visits on the weekends (as I ride past) and always go home on time each day. I blame my Mrs cos she is on Facebook a lot, they probably send all this dating stuff, Trojans and spyware and cookies. Well that's my story.
 
A Chinese man is in an Australian bank when he sees an Australian cashing in 100
American dollars, getting 143 Australian dollars in return. Remembering that he has
some American money at home (left over from his last holiday), he returns the
next day to the bank to cash his money in.
"Here is 100 American dollars, please exchange it for Australian dollars".
The teller gives him 133 Australian dollars.
"What's this? Yesterday you gave an Australian man 143 dollars for the same
amount, but now you give me only 133. Why?"
Teller: "Fluctuations".
"Yeah? Well, fluck you Aussies too!!"
 

During the building of the great wall of China
the coolies developed their hands to be able to split the bricks to the required size with a single chop with the edge of their hand
one day one of the bricks that had just been karate chopped in half fell of the wall and hit one of the guards on the head
the guard yelled out Fluck what Kung Foo dat