There was a girl in work, bit of a beast, she was as big as a house and would eat you without salt.
Often waddled awkwardly into the canteen, someone would offer her a "candy", she'd reply oh yes I might be bold and take one, and then she'd take one alright - one handful.
Or if there was a cake there, she'd waddle over, cut a modest slice, everyone would think "that's less than I thought she'd take", but then she'd leave the slice and take the cake
Her name was Bridie, her nickname was Big Bridie.. in fact we had a theme song for her;
Whoa-oh, Big Bridie, bam-ba-lam
Whoa-oh, Big Bridie, bam-ba-lam
Big Bridie ate a sheep, and a lamb
Whoa-oh, Big Bridie, bam-ba-lam
Whoa-oh, Big Bridie, bam-ba-lam
Big Bridie ate a cow, and a ham
Whoa-oh, Big Bridie, bam-ba-lam
and so forth
True story bro