Two things, mate!
One. The cops do NOT leap into action and put out an APB when you report a theft. They simply record it on their computer and if it ever turns up they tell you "We found it." (Which I suppose, in a way, they did.)
Can't say I blame them, tho, with the amount of stuff that gets nicked.
Two. Once, in a time long ago, I was invited by the CEO of this State's largest insurance company to meet him at the air conditioned HQ tower where I observed hundreds of cute bums in miniskirts on stools before accompanying him on a half-day chicken and champagne lunch cruise on Sydney Harbour. Gratis. It was called a "contra."
About then I think I realised on which side of the insurance ledger we all sit.
'Course, you knew all this.