Starter and headlights not working

the relays them self's r basically the same
it is the way they r wired in the vehicle that changes the way they work

Not quite, there are relays that in the non-energised state are an open circuit and relays that are a closed circuit. Have to have correct relay and correct wirering. In first case OP mentions - lights always on, either relay diesndo work or is miswired. In second case it is working backwards, on to start & off when running - sounds like circuit correct, wrong type of relay.
 
just my opinion and backed up by the wiring diagram in the triumph manual
the 4 prong relay is a normally open relay
the 5 prong relay is just like the 4 prong except that it has an extra prong that put power to the lights
when not energized.
when u hit the starter button the power the relay is energized and breaks the light circuit and applies the starter solenoid circuit.
again just my opinion
in an emergency u could use a 4 prong relay to replace the 5 prong starter relay but your lights would not work.
 
for me this is just a good place to check ( the starter relay)
its like lets start in the middle make sure u r getting power at that relay. I can check how the starter works if it is good or bad and also if it is getting all the correct signals from the computer (ecu).

i guess my point to the op was to try and verify that he was getting good power to that relay.
 
I was getting power to both sides the fuse even when the key was off but not to the yellow and blue wire at the relay connector. since the wire ran straight to the relay i ran a inline fuse wire from the battery's to the connection I didn't see that being a issue both relays are the same just acting weird. I'm thinking it is the relay just didn't want waste money buying another with out picking your brains first. I blew $150 rebuilding the starter to find the problem was in the wiring.
 
on the old classic the yellow/blue wire #9 fuse receives power through the ing switch to fuse #9 then to the relay which powers the lights/starter relay. now if u put a battery jumper in that circuit u would have the lights on all the time and run down your battery.

i do not have the wiring diagram for the touring
i think that if u put a battery power on the yellow/blue wire it would send power to another relay.
my thought would that your problem is between fuse #9 and the starter relay. (bad yellow/blue wire or connections.
 
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