Roscoe, brother, I hear you and I understand. Being a former Drug and Alcohol Program Adviser, I do believe you may have a problem.
In my past with my Rescue Swimmer students who were caught underage drinking, I could fix their issue with more push-ups, never needing to send them to the old man for discipline actions affecting their wallet. For others, the older guys who could not show up to morning PT without being legally drunk and beyond, I had to refer them to medical for assessment.
In your case, I would suggest getting the chopper back into shape ASAP. Consider this your extra push-ups. After all, no bike deserves to sit idle and simply rust away regardless of make of model. Begin...
Considering the FJR, it should still be useful for those beer runs with its ability to carry extra weight and cargo. DO NOT underestimate its utility. And it is after all, a great point and shoot bike as well as having an awesome lean angle; use it to its fullest and make it happy at least once a week. Don't make me send you to medical for further evaluation...
As for the Rocket, for the love of God and country, do not let it sit for more than three days a week as this is sinful. Your real problem is making sure your bikes do not collect dust (another sinful issue).
Maybe I got off the target concern, but I hope I have helped in some way.