When I took off the stock header I saw it had silicone sealer on the copper gaskets. The manual says to use grease or petroleum jelly. So do you use high temp silicone or grease?
I didn't use anything. If they stay in place during assembly, no need for it.
I believe the squared off tabs install inside, against the exhaust port.
Remember to re-torque the header cap nuts a few times when cold after runs.
I did this once a week until they stopped loosening.