Virginia Trooper

It was an exquisite Spring day in Virginia, so naturally I took my IC SC beast out for a ride... only today I wore my full race gear. Gotta break it in, right? The modern race suit is **** comfortable to ride in my rear-rear set position, extremely well ventilated, and the extra confidence engendered by level 3 armor and knee sliders is almost frightening. I do admit to being quite a sight with blue flames, black/white race leathers... and speed hump. I call it my "arrest me, I'm speeding" look.

Well turns out, I might be right. Alerted by my detector (slightly illegal), I knew there was a Virginia Trooper ahead miles before I saw him, and slowed to a just under the limit. No matter, when he eyeballed my outrageous apparition on his highway, he pulled right out behind me. Now I have a heads-up speed display in my helmet, it's cake to hold precisely 1 MPH under the limit... so I do. Meanwhile he's frying me with microwaves from his radar, multiple LEDs are flashing inside my helmet, and the chance of any more children is rapidly diminishing due to the radiation exposure. This goes on for 10 or 12 more miles, through several speed zones dropping from 55 to 45, to 35, then 25... he holds a cool 1/4 mile off like a trailing attack sub. Finally I succumb to the pressure and turn off into a country store... naturally he follows me in.

Now I grew up on HD choppers and to me that means license check and VIN inspection, maybe hassle for inspection violations.

Nope! He just wanted to look at the bike!!! We had a good chat, and he knew enough about fast bikes to be suitably impressed. Gotta love them polite Virginia Troopers! He was a true Virginia Gentleman and a Man of Color... a very big Man at that. Dat's what I luv about da South!

Was it Trooper Watts? Uh, I don't want to say I know him...but I ..uh, know him.

Well then let's keep my detector a secret, OK?

Seems the local Constibulatory was just checking rider sanity for future scrapings from road. My 1st pull over involved passing several cars so fast I neglected to check identities and so he asked, "didn't you see me"? I just admitted no. He admired the bike as well and wished me a good day.

I think that I was introduced to Tropper Watts a few years ago, too. Just got off the plane from a Caribbean trip w/ the family. Totally fried both physically and mentally. Was driving on the superslab wanting to get home as fast as I could. Didn't pay attention to a white car that pulled up next to me on the right, then slowed down and pulled up next to me on the left, then slid in behind me. Just when it clicked that something wasn't right, he lit up his lights. He asked, "Didn't you see me?" I looked at him with my sunglasses tan face and told him where we had just come from. He leaned in to look at the rest of the family, burnt and fried as they were, and laughed. He told me to just slow it down and make it the rest of the way home safe.

I wish more of them were like that.

**** cops ought to take the radar gun and place it between their legs and lock the trigger on for a few hours each day just to keep the population down.........

Microwaved Rocky Mountain Oysters on the half shell.

Sidecar Flip said:

**** cops ought to take the radar gun and place it between their legs and lock the trigger on for a few hours each day just to keep the population down.........

Microwaved Rocky Mountain Oysters on the half shell.

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Easy now Flip.

Hombre, he was probably pacing you and using the radar to give him his speed. Most units I am familiar with can't do same direction while moving. Otherwise they have to be stopped or if moving, on-coming vehicles only can be measured. So if you would have punched it and pulled away he would have to estimate your speed. Try it next time see if he gets it right.

OK time for a Flip-type of tale...... Radar detectors are legal in Missouri. One time I was driving a very slick unmarked Crown Vic, it had regular license plates and the lights were LEDs mounted behind tinted windows. I had to make a quick trip to our state capital, about 150 miles away, for the agency I was working for, so I drove it. On the return trip, this gal passed me. I saw she had a radar detector, so I flipped on the radar unit in the car I was driving, she immediately slowed way down which caused me to pass her and get ahead of her a ways (it was a four lane road). About 10 mins later here she comes again, this time I let her get further past me before I hit it, and I left it on for a good 30 secs. Of course she slowed way down again, and I passed her again. This went on about a dozen more times over the next 80 miles before she finally figured it out.

Brian, I'm just curious if you ever find a conflict if interest between your law enforcement duties and your duty as high perfomance tune advisor here?

Pig9r said:

Hombre, he was probably pacing you and using the radar to give him his speed. Most units I am familiar with can't do same direction while moving. Otherwise they have to be stopped or if moving, on-coming vehicles only can be measured. So if you would have punched it and pulled away he would have to estimate your speed. Try it next time see if he gets it right.

OK time for a Flip-type of tale...... Radar detectors are legal in Missouri. One time I was driving a very slick unmarked Crown Vic, it had regular license plates and the lights were LEDs mounted behind tinted windows. I had to make a quick trip to our state capital, about 150 miles away, for the agency I was working for, so I drove it. On the return trip, this gal passed me. I saw she had a radar detector, so I flipped on the radar unit in the car I was driving, she immediately slowed way down which caused me to pass her and get ahead of her a ways (it was a four lane road). About 10 mins later here she comes again, this time I let her get further past me before I hit it, and I left it on for a good 30 secs. Of course she slowed way down again, and I passed her again. This went on about a dozen more times over the next 80 miles before she finally figured it out.

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I know the real reason.............
She had on a short skirt and was in a low slung sports car and you were trying to look up her......................................yeah baby.

Dirty young man.

Why do you think I like driving big trucks. Amazing what you see when folks pass you in the seemingly privacy of their cars. I've seen it all and then some.