You should go with a shock that is more adjustable since you might not have the wifey and trailer on all the time. I think I would call either Hagon or YSS with the weights and they will set you up properly. Just my opinion though I have all three and the first to go will be the Progressive.
I do know they will probably tell you to set the bike up for the most way used then make adustments from there as you change the payload. If it were me I would buy two sets one for whenyou have the wife and fully loaded trailer and then one for when your by yourself. If your by yourself and decide to take the wife without the trailer you will be able to mak enough adjustment on them shocks. Thats how they set mine up since the wife is not always with me. I have a set of progressive 440s and other then spring tension you cannot adjust the rebound dampening. so when the wife is not there the ride is a little stiffer and I cannot do anything about it. I will therefor be switching them out to one of the others. WHich to be honest I like both equally. except YSS makes a set that is adjustable in length + or - 10 mm which is better IMO especially if your going from flat land riding to twisties like at the dragon tail. Just my opinion though. I would contact all of them and explain what you want get their opinions and go from there.
When I ordered my Hagons I just told them my weight my wife's a md the towbar/drawbar load and they did the rest, I just vary the spring by one turn and one extra click on the damping when I am carting full load and I would be a similar weight and my wife is a 55kg plus I put about the same weight maybe a little more on drawbar I have the 35 kg springs and an extra 20mm in lenght