True Friendship None of that Sissy Crap

RatBoy

Turbocharged

Joined

Dec 5, 2006

Messages

757

Location

Durham, NC

• Apr 25, 2008

• #1

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of great friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a
spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be
involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much
Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay away from m e until you are well
Again. I don't want whatever the heck you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy rear-end. 9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end... 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth..

 

HeR3tic

Living Legend

Joined

Nov 25, 2006

Messages

3,452

Location

Heart of Dixie (Alabama)

• Apr 27, 2008

• #2

Ahhhh-men

twas too short, I must expound

Doctors​

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.​

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.​

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.​

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.​

]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>​

Guns​

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)​

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.​

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.​

Statistics courtesy of FBI​

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>​

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.​

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'​

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>​

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.​

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>​

Alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!​

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>​

Out of concern for the public at large, I've withheld the statistics on lawyers​

for fear that the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention​

 

snuffcityrider

Living Legend

Joined

Oct 30, 2006

Messages

2,446

Location

Texas

• Apr 27, 2008

• #3

I need a hanky please, very touching and describes my friends to a tee. I work for a surgeon..I guess I better start packing some heat