Some British auto humor

[Alister]

I'm sure a few of you know of my obsession with LBCs (Little British Cars), so it would seem only fitting for me to post some jokes I ran across. You guys with the older Triumphs can surely understand Lucas, and anyone who's ever used a Haynes manual will get 'em, too!

Lucas - Prince of Darkness - Lucas Electrical Humor Jokes

Do it by the book - the real meaning of Haynes instructions

At one time, I owned three LBCs. I know the pains too well!
Currently have a restored '69 Triumph GT6 (Spitfire with a hardtop and six-cylinder) and '79 MG Midget MkIV (unrestored, but quite nice).

 

[Pig9r]

That's pretty good. I really like the diagrams of the fuses and their ratings.

I restored a '70 Triumph Bonneville a few years ago. Just about everything Lucas came off. I had electronic ignition, solid state rectifier, LED taillight, halogen headlight, etc. Is there a similar market of parts for the brit autos?

 

[Alister]

That's pretty good. I really like the diagrams of the fuses and their ratings.

I restored a '70 Triumph Bonneville a few years ago. Just about everything Lucas came off. I had electronic ignition, solid state rectifier, LED taillight, halogen headlight, etc. Is there a similar market of parts for the brit autos?

Yes, the two pages definitely made me laugh (much to the chagrin of my fellow desert rats, who were trying to sleep)!

Certainly! The market for the LBCs is, in my opinion, significantly more comprehensive than for the classic bikes. Anything from engine/transmission swaps, to competition suspension components, to superchargers/turbochargers for the original Austin-derived BMC engines! I just ran across, via Moss UK, fiberglass panels for my Midget, in fact! Wings, boot lid, bonnet, and doors (Brit-speak for fenders, trunk lid, and hood).

Some of it, still, one has to do for themselves. Someone a while back, in example, figured out that the alternator for an early-'90s Saturn will fit the brackets for any Lucas-equipped LBC, with only a re-clock of the rear housing and pulley change! Not only are the Bosch/Delco-type alternators less expensive, no bigger, and much more reliable than the Lucas units, they're twice as powerful!

Commonplace now, is the Hitachi-type gear-reduction starters, Petronix and Mallory distributors, and Stewart-Warner replacement gauges. The real trouble begins and ends with trying to re-think the Lucas wiring harness... The schematics are not pretty! With mine, I may wind up simply buying a hotrod harness and completely rewiring the cars, using as many modern American components as possible.

 

[RatBoy]

Alister,
I have a '63 TR3-B taking up space in my garage.

The wifey's late grandfather originally brought the LBC back from the dead. But since he's passed, I can't find parts for the ****able thing.

Any suggestions would be muchly appreciated.

 

[3ngin33r1]

Sell it to me, problem solved.

 

[fastfreight]

war story

I was driving my MGB one day and stopped at a light. It was amusing when the wipers went on all by themselves. It was not amusing when the cockpit filled with smoke from under the dash. Good thing they were so low to the ground so when I rolled out onto the street I didn't hurt myself. Do you think that was part of the designer's intent?

 

[Alister]

Alister,
I have a '63 TR3-B taking up space in my garage.

The wifey's late grandfather originally brought the LBC back from the dead. But since he's passed, I can't find parts for the ****able thing.

Any suggestions would be muchly appreciated.

And I have a garage with some extra space...

Lessee *digs through internet bookmarks*

- MG Parts | TR Parts | Triumph Parts | Austin Healey Parts | Jag Parts | Jag Bits | Sprite Parts | Midget Parts | Spitfire Parts | Bugeye Parts | Frog Eye Parts | Jaguar Parts | Sunbeam Parts | Classic Car Parts | Pertronix | Gunson | Moto-Lita | LBCa (use this site in conjuction with Moss Motors' part#s)
- MossMotors.com - Restoration Parts And Accessories For British Cars
- MG, Triumph, Austin Healey, Sunbeam Tiger - Victoria British, Ltd.
- http://www.usedbritishcarparts.com/ (good source of used parts at reasonable prices)
- http://www.prirace.com/ (Mostly for Triumph Spitfire/GT6 and TR250 performance, but can adapt more modern motorcycle-type carbs to your manifolds. I've done this, and it's well worth it! They're doing my '79 Porsche 924 next)
- University Motors Limited, Ada, Michigan (great source of information, parts sources, and the occasional used/refurbished part. John is a great guy!)
- PAECO Industries (high performance stuff. Pricey, but comprehensive)
- Minilite Wheels USA Distribution (reproduction, period-correct cast aluminum race wheels anyone?)
- http://www.elgincams.com/ (custom camshafts, either new core or reground. He's had a lot of experience with LBCs)
- Eastwood Company: Auto Tools, Body Repair, Classic Car Restoration, House of Kolor Paint, Powder Coating (just about any car care or restoration product you could think of... and then some!)
- Summit Racing - High Performance Car and Truck Parts | 800-230-3030 (high-performance central. Mostly American stuff, but they carry quite a number of Pacesetter's and Addco's stuff, and a ton of universal-fit components like the electric Holley fuel pump in my GT6)


Think that'll do for a start? I have much, much more, but the majority of it is geared to Spitfire/GT6 and A-H Sprite/MG Midget.

 

[Gunshots]

I am proud to admit the only brit equipment in my garage is the rocket. I do however find it hard to belive that there is a lemon out there that I have yet to own. I almost bought an Audi once. The salesman told me the the service department was a great place to pick up chicks.